I can’t help but make connections between our engagement framework for experience design and life outside the office. Maybe this means I haven’t successfully drawn the line between work and life. Or maybe, just maybe, the rules of engagement for design are very much the same for relationships – client relationships or otherwise.

I can’t help but make connections between our engagement framework for experience design and life outside the office. Maybe this means I haven’t successfully drawn the line between work and life. Or maybe, just maybe, the rules of engagement for design are very much the same for relationships – client relationships or otherwise.

Case in point: my grandma and the chain letter.

Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of chain letters. Under normal circumstances I find them to be a time suck, full of empty promises. But the chain letter that landed in my home mailbox was from my husband’s dear Aunt Susan, and I was flattered that she was thinking of me. I’m also a sucker for snail mail. Besides, this chain letter promised several recipes in return for my time, with little threat of consequences for breaking the chain.

The letter sat on our kitchen counter for days because I simply didn’t have time for it. But I felt too guilty to throw it away, so I finally did it. I made my copies and found my favorite recipe to share, not really caring whether I received anything in return.

Not unlike Aunt Susan, I sent the letters out to family members, a thoughtful gesture to remind them that I haven’t forgotten about them. I even carefully selected those whom I knew were cooks. My grandma was on the list.

Days later, I received this voice mail.

I had to laugh out loud as I listened to her lament, but the message was one part comedy, one part failure. Of course I began to regret the undue stress I had put on my grandma. I also realized that I had flunked the knowing-your-customer portion of this particular engagement – not to mention knowing my customers’ customer.

Why did I think than an 84-year-old would be interested in a chain letter? She’s still cooking, yes, but her friends are just as old as she is, if not older, and they just don’t cook. They just don’t. Plus, she’s played the chain game before. You heard the woman. She only got two dishtowels!

I’ve since spoken to my grandma and apologized for sending the letter in the first place, and for causing her to worry about breaking my chain. In reality, I’m the one who broke the chain. I broke it when I made the decision to send out those dang letters to quell a guilty feeling, with little regard for my “customers.”

So it’s OK, Grandma. Nobody wants to be the one to break the chain. But this one’s not on you.